Little did people know that before my 27th birthday I found out that I was pregnant with our 4th child. I was 2 weeks pregnant while I was on IUD. My IUD got dislodged and made the pregnancy possible. We were surprised, even my doctor was surprised. The best OB-Gyne doctor in Lipa with the most patients has 2 patients who got preggo with the IUD. I was the second.
I thought, God really wanted us to have this baby. Despite being on IUD, I still got pregnant! Of course, we welcomed the news with our heart whole. I broke the news to Patty, and she was so so happy. I will never forget how happy she was when I announced to her that she was getting a baby brother. Yes, my 3-year-old toddler understood everything. I can play that memory in my head over and over.
My OB asked me to return on June 5th to check the baby's heartbeat. Oh, hearing the first heart beat is always every mom's favorite first moment. I walked in the ultrasound room, opened my legs and the doctor found nothing. She found an empty sac. No baby. No heartbeat. Medically speaking they call it, Blighted Ovum. The fertilized egg did not develop to a fetus.
A fertilized egg it was. Not even a fetus. But that does not make my pain any less. Does not make it easier to accept. As a mother, he/she was my child. My unborn. My baby who will not be joining our family in singing "baby shark". The baby will not join the lovely chaos of our family. The crazy trips to the mall, all the fighting, running and laughing. All of it. Who knows, it could have the baby boy we've been praying for.
We are a ridiculously fun family, and someone did not make it to join us. In my heart, I feel like I am grieving like I really lost a child. Did not matter to me how big or how small. He/she was my child.
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