Wedding preparations eeek!

We're still a year away from a wedding date. Well technically, we don't even have a date yet since we're still waiting for the schedule of board exams, his pre residency and residency schedule. So maaany things to consider I know! It gets a bit frustrating because I can't book a single supplier without the "date".  Not that we have a lot of suppliers to consider since we plan on having a simple civil ceremony with family, and closest friends limiting our guest list to 60 guests!

4 years ago, even if our relationship was just a month old, we already knew we wanted to get married someday. Not in a mushy, childish wishing to marry someone, we just knew. Before we turned a year old, Jaggy and I already had a business together so we can start saving and get married after his graduation. On our fourth month together, we drove to Tagayaty and visited Calaruega church, and boom! We had that "this is it!" feeling with the church, and I teased Jaggy,  "Love, dito ko na gusto." To my surprise he replied with ""Dito mo na talaga gusto?" on a serious tone.  And we are, that is why we're waiting a few more years to get married in Calaruega church. As you all know, you need to book and reserve 2 years before your wedding day to book on Calaruega as it is the most sought after church in Tagaytay! Sometimes, I hate how Jaggy and I are so sentimental so we end up waiting a few more years for this, but I appreciate the gesture of sticking with our early hopes and dreams, and finally seeing them happening right in our eyes :) 

We've been driving to Tagaytay for 4 consecutive weekends just to scout reception venues for our garden civil wedding. One that is Pinterest worthy! hehe And boy it's tiring especially with a slightly demanding mother, cutiepatootie baby at the height of her "kalikutan". Oh! let's not forget my incredibly kuripot fiance.

Jaggy and I has this habit of, him, giving me a budget, and me working around it, or beat my head trying to make it work. He has this this special skill of making things really hard for me. nye nye. hahaha 


Truth be told, I've had my fair share of "BRIDEZILLA" moments, and I lost count the number of times I told Jaggy to cancel everything. hahahaha  I dont mean it of course, but gaaahd i never really thought how wedding plans can be so frustrating! Enough to kill the excitement even! Bbu-bu-but I'm glad I am over it (weh??) hahaha. Lucky lucky my fiance is verrryy patient with me, and it only makes me want to marry him even him. :D 

Allow me however to share a couple of pegs I got from Pinterest, and im hoping to make things alive or at least close to it on our big day. 

Eeeehhk!

Patty turned 1!

Wow, so it has been a year since I gave birth to my little munchkin? This beautiful little world wonder is finally a year old, and we could not be any happier with the beautiful little girl she's growing up to be. Tantrums? What tantrums? I have not seen Patty throw a tantrum, or remember a single occasion where we had a struggle to make her eat. Let me quote what my mom says everyday, "Pinaka behave na bata sa buong mundo si Patty!". Sure she's uncomfortable with strangers, but at home she can last a day without crying. And that's just a normal "Patty" thing. Who wouldn't love this little creature?:)

On Oct. 12, 2014 the exact day of her 1st birthday, we celebrated this very special day with our loving family, and closest friends at Jollibee, Lipa Batangas. Just a small party of 80 closest family and friends celebrating our outmost joy for having Patty. My fiance continues to amaze me because he drove all the way from Manila straight from his 24 hour duty to Lipa and did his best to stay awake the whole day to maximize the little time he has with us. True enough, the best gift we can ever receive is the gift of time.   

Surprisingly, it was Jaggy who wanted to throw a party for Patty! I was so proud of Jaggy finally coming out of his kuripot self. hahaha Although, quite frankly speaking we didn't end up spending much on this party too. hehe 

EXPENSES:
Jollibee Package: 10k-ish?
Photographer: P1500
Loot bags: P700
Adorable tutu dress: C/O Lola Norrine :)

As you all know, Jaggy is the master crammer, and he plans everything and I say everything the last minute sometimes a few hours after the last minute. He started planning Patty's party in May of 2014!!! :))  So many changes with him since he became a father, and I couldn't be more proud. :) 

The party was well executed, and was downright entertaining! Thanks to Jollibee for pulling off an amazing party that suited our budget! :) I was a bit problematic at first since Jaggy provided a very minimal budget, but thank God for my cheapskate skills, I get a decent party, and Jaggy is just happy it didn't break the bank. Hmp! :)

It was just surreal to see two families join to celebrate and share the same happiness Jaggy and I have. Jaggy even had friends from Manila to share this momentous moment in our lives. I know Patty will not remember a moment in this party, but I don't think Jaggy, and I will forget that day. 4 years together, and we still enjoy many firsts in our lives. So excited to gather these people again on our big day, our wedding day! :)

My happy ever after :)

I guess everyone will agree that our love story wasn't a pretty one. It was a toxic on-off-on-off relationship, and God knew how much we fought, and how often we'd break up. 4 years ago, we simply had a looot of growing up to do. Imagine the worst possible fights rolled in one relationship. While relationships are supposed to bring it the best in you, we did the exact opposite. Many times we tried to make it work but to no avail. I must admit I was emotionally unstable, it didn't help too that he was in med school. Finally, after months of trying we both agreed it was time to move on and let go somewhere in July 2012. Despite that agreement, I spent each day in church praying we'd both find our way, either away or toward each other. Prayed for a sign for each day that passed for 3 months until my dad passed away and it looked like we were sailing back to shore. But all that changed when we found out I was pregnant just a week after his dad passed away. Talk about perfect timing eh? All the more that I prayed each day. Our families involved, more people hurt to make matters worse.

Maybe perhaps the purpose of meeting again was for me to have this baby. Yes? No? I already knew God had a purpose, and it was for the greater good. Big day came, and behold my Pattyboo. If I kept Patty from her Tatay, i'd be selfish i thought. I'd only be dragging an innocent baby, my child to our long history together. Marriage was still out of the discussion, we yet again tried to make it work for Patty. But it failed like the rest of the times we tried. It didn't make a difference. Fights came often, and were indifferent. I felt like he did not deserve a hug, a kiss, not the simplest nice gesture because he did not deserve it. I was vengeful, I'd withdraw in his every attempt  to reconcile. We'd sleep next to each other when he is home, but half the world away.

I was hurt, I thought he was supposed to try to win me back with desperate gestures. But learned that love and forgiveness does not work that way. It was not an excuse for me to be cruel, to love is to forgive without conditions.

When we broke up (AGAIN), I started attending the novena, prayed every second I felt hurt, and prayed for the impossible. Jaggy even told me he has not been happy with me for the longest time. All the fighting finally taking its toll on us, and it was the beginning of the end. While most of you would have taken that as an insult, or used that as strength to move forward, I prayed for the impossible. I prayed "Lord, I know nothing is impossible with you. I surrender all my pain, doubts, fear, and family to you. Lead us to your will. If this man is mine, lead him back. If not, I give him up without question." I prayed every single day, and still no sign. Until my birthday came, fathers day, and we started talking again. In one of his visits, I caught him looking at me while I was sleeping...and that was the beginning of everything. 

We didn't know what hit us. For every single day, since that day we grew up, together. He may not be a man of grand gestures, but it was his day by day effort to make each day pass blissfully that I started to appreciate him even more. Our relationship has never been this beautiful as ever. 

It didnt take long till we reconciled finally. Not only did we reconcile, we are finally happy. We've finally graduated from fighting, and found a better way to settle our issues. Sweeter than ever, we'd hug, hold hands, like none of those ugly things ever happened. Our past although ugly, we took as a lesson. So how are we doing today? we are at our HAPPIEST, and tying the knot soon! yes, we're finally getting married!!!!:) More than 3 years of toxic relationship, and here we are.. chummy chummy like a bunch of 18 year olds, holding hands while driving, late night calls, and we never let a day pass without laughing, bombarding each other with silly jokes, and all the cheese you can possibly think of. We don't know how it happened, we just both decided to make each day count. Never taking each day for granted. We may not talk much during toxic hospital duty days, but we find ourselves incredibly blissful each day. Now that we're better and stronger, we know that no matter what happens, we will always always have each other. That in this lifetime, we'll never love this much again. Jaggy is now his best person, and I am too. This is far more beautiful that what I had in mind. I've always believed that God has a better plan for us in his own time, and when I finally let things unfold on their own, we became the happiest. No manipulating no anything, just complete surrender.

I guess what I'm saying is, every relationship can be saved if you decide to forgive. I've always believed that we reap what we sow. I sowed seed of forgiveness. And that's exactly what Jaggy gave me, a new beginning. Too much history together? Not true. Because marriage is a union between two forgivers. You don't marry someone because they are perfect, you embrace their flaws. There is no good reason to leave as long as the will to change is there. If at any point in our almost 4year relationship I gave up on Jaggy, we'd never be this happy.

So, a happy marriage is a daily work. It doesn't just knock in our homes, and kablaam! You don't get chosen by destiny, its a decision from two people. To make each day count. To make it work. To show appreciation. To make your partner laugh. To be there for them. To forgive. To fight for, never against. 

Hi, Pattypie! :-)

Patty has not made her debut in my new blog, and here she is!!!

 

Patty at 3 months! Yahay!!! :)

When she had her ears pierced!

My little darling :)

One morning, 2-ish in the morning while battling for my sanity and bottle feeding Patty, I felt stuck. I wondered how long until I get to go out again, and how I missed my old self. Depressed, I sobbed with guilt. After she finally finishes her milk, she cooed, smiled, and laughed. No oral argument needed, it was the best 10 seconds of my life. God reminded me how lucky I was to have this tiny world wonder in my arms. :)

It's a lifestyle, not a diet.

I have not written a single post since I gave birth to my darling Patty. Blame the sleepless nights, inconsolable crying, and breastfreeding frustrations for the lack of or never having  written anything, but hey! I am back for good I hope. hehe Although I have not graduated from any of those, (except the breastfeeding part for I have accepted my fate of never being able to) I am finally regaining my blogging mojo 3 months post partum, and yeah 30lbs heavier!!!

I was at 52 kilos before I grew a little baby in my tummy, and weighed a horrible number of 71 kilos. I barely looked pregnant until my 6th month, people didn't actually noticed I was pregnant. My bi-weekly check up came, and gained 3 kilos every week. I ate horrendous amount of rice, and I was never full without  my sweets. I dropped to to 64 kilos in two weeks, and even rose to 65.5 kilos. That finally caught my attention, no. My head was blank. Furious at myself, I finally decided to make a difference. I must win back my self respect-- fast. 

TURNING A NEW LEAF

Despite the not so recent passing of my dad, followed by my kuya's stroke I have never actually taken any serious leap towards living healthy. I was the last person to care about what I ate. I live to eat what the heck, and voila! Here I am, a wobbling whale sulking in self pity. With stretch marks here and there; It did not mark motherhood, I was a few kilos away from being obese according to my bmi. I decided to embrace a whole new lifestyle. The initial goal was to lose weight, but I later found out that healthy living was rewarding. Losing weight was just an added bonus. I will hopefully live longer to see my Patty grow up, even set a good example to her.

Breakfast: Coffee

AM snack: Fruit

Lunch: 100 grams protein, 1 veggie.

PM Snack: Fruit

Dinner: 100 grams of protein,  1 veggie

I'd be a hypocrite if I tell you I don't cheat on my diet   newly found lifestyle. But this is still a HUGE difference with the kind, and the amount of food I used to eat. I have never been happy with the food I eat, until I prepared them myself! :) Despite skipping carbs, I'm surprised that I never go hungry. I doubt if I'll even try any form of exercise. But eating healthy is a good start, Yes? :) 

THE NEWBIE
I weighed 64.7 kilos last Saturday, and proud to say I now weigh 62.5 kilos! Although, I still have a long way to go from my goal which is 52 kilos, but that the heck, weight loss is still weight loss. I enjoyed cooking so much I have no plans of stopping even if I reach my goal. It's about time I reward my body after sabotaging it for 22 years. 

Let me share you a 5 minute video by Thefatkidinside.com about portion eating, and staying motivated!

This year, I am turning a new leaf. Embracing not only a healthier lifestyle, but rekindling my old hobby, cooking.. and blogging! Yay! :-) I'll be sharing my lutu -lutuan recipes here including recipes I found over the internet. 

And this is what i've been cooking/eating! :)

Tenderloin wrapped in lettuce! NO RICE, SO NICE! :)

Lean beef patty with stir fry veggies

Blacked creamy dory with cabbage

Chicken breast filler with mized vegetables

Baked creamy dory, 

Remember, eating healthy does not have to be punishing! Happy eating! :D

Cheers to motherhood, living healthy,and self worth! :)