I guess everyone will agree that our love story wasn't a pretty one. It was a toxic on-off-on-off relationship, and God knew how much we fought, and how often we'd break up. 4 years ago, we simply had a looot of growing up to do. Imagine the worst possible fights rolled in one relationship. While relationships are supposed to bring it the best in you, we did the exact opposite. Many times we tried to make it work but to no avail. I must admit I was emotionally unstable, it didn't help too that he was in med school. Finally, after months of trying we both agreed it was time to move on and let go somewhere in July 2012. Despite that agreement, I spent each day in church praying we'd both find our way, either away or toward each other. Prayed for a sign for each day that passed for 3 months until my dad passed away and it looked like we were sailing back to shore. But all that changed when we found out I was pregnant just a week after his dad passed away. Talk about perfect timing eh? All the more that I prayed each day. Our families involved, more people hurt to make matters worse.
Maybe perhaps the purpose of meeting again was for me to have this baby. Yes? No? I already knew God had a purpose, and it was for the greater good. Big day came, and behold my Pattyboo. If I kept Patty from her Tatay, i'd be selfish i thought. I'd only be dragging an innocent baby, my child to our long history together. Marriage was still out of the discussion, we yet again tried to make it work for Patty. But it failed like the rest of the times we tried. It didn't make a difference. Fights came often, and were indifferent. I felt like he did not deserve a hug, a kiss, not the simplest nice gesture because he did not deserve it. I was vengeful, I'd withdraw in his every attempt to reconcile. We'd sleep next to each other when he is home, but half the world away.
I was hurt, I thought he was supposed to try to win me back with desperate gestures. But learned that love and forgiveness does not work that way. It was not an excuse for me to be cruel, to love is to forgive without conditions.
When we broke up (AGAIN), I started attending the novena, prayed every second I felt hurt, and prayed for the impossible. Jaggy even told me he has not been happy with me for the longest time. All the fighting finally taking its toll on us, and it was the beginning of the end. While most of you would have taken that as an insult, or used that as strength to move forward, I prayed for the impossible. I prayed "Lord, I know nothing is impossible with you. I surrender all my pain, doubts, fear, and family to you. Lead us to your will. If this man is mine, lead him back. If not, I give him up without question." I prayed every single day, and still no sign. Until my birthday came, fathers day, and we started talking again. In one of his visits, I caught him looking at me while I was sleeping...and that was the beginning of everything.
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We didn't know what hit us. For every single day, since that day we grew up, together. He may not be a man of grand gestures, but it was his day by day effort to make each day pass blissfully that I started to appreciate him even more. Our relationship has never been this beautiful as ever.
It didnt take long till we reconciled finally. Not only did we reconcile, we are finally happy. We've finally graduated from fighting, and found a better way to settle our issues. Sweeter than ever, we'd hug, hold hands, like none of those ugly things ever happened. Our past although ugly, we took as a lesson. So how are we doing today? we are at our HAPPIEST, and tying the knot soon! yes, we're finally getting married!!!!:) More than 3 years of toxic relationship, and here we are.. chummy chummy like a bunch of 18 year olds, holding hands while driving, late night calls, and we never let a day pass without laughing, bombarding each other with silly jokes, and all the cheese you can possibly think of. We don't know how it happened, we just both decided to make each day count. Never taking each day for granted. We may not talk much during toxic hospital duty days, but we find ourselves incredibly blissful each day. Now that we're better and stronger, we know that no matter what happens, we will always always have each other. That in this lifetime, we'll never love this much again. Jaggy is now his best person, and I am too. This is far more beautiful that what I had in mind. I've always believed that God has a better plan for us in his own time, and when I finally let things unfold on their own, we became the happiest. No manipulating no anything, just complete surrender.
I guess what I'm saying is, every relationship can be saved if you decide to forgive. I've always believed that we reap what we sow. I sowed seed of forgiveness. And that's exactly what Jaggy gave me, a new beginning. Too much history together? Not true. Because marriage is a union between two forgivers. You don't marry someone because they are perfect, you embrace their flaws. There is no good reason to leave as long as the will to change is there. If at any point in our almost 4year relationship I gave up on Jaggy, we'd never be this happy.
So, a happy marriage is a daily work. It doesn't just knock in our homes, and kablaam! You don't get chosen by destiny, its a decision from two people. To make each day count. To make it work. To show appreciation. To make your partner laugh. To be there for them. To forgive. To fight for, never against.
