Sometimes I can't bring myself to wonder, "Am I ready to be a mom!?" I mean, Lord are you on drugs? really!!? ME!!? I can't even give my car a regular carwash or keep my newly polished nails decent looking for a week. Prior to being pregnant I was happily engaged in social activities with my organization, with regular visits to the gym, casual dinner with friends, and frequent travels. I swear I felt my world crash before me. Those two lines marked the end of my dalaga days. I ditched my 1 week Cebu-Bohol trip the following week, and fled to my pity party.
2 lines. Is this some kind of practical joke? Even my mom would consider that a horror, not even a joke! I have this long history of unrequited love with kids. And now, a child of my own. I threw a hysterical tantrum saying "No! Nooo!!" repeatedly. I am not willing to give up the life that I have. But a bigger part of me could not fathom the thought of getting rid of a child, my own. The mental image is worse than that of Miley Cyrus twerking, and Wally scandal COMBINED.
But today, a baby in my tummy is 33 weeks old, 44cm long, a baby I name Patty. Everyday I pray for chubby cheeks, and legs far from mine. You will be loved my darling, and I cannot wait to bring you in this world. Just 3 more weeks, and I'm finally meeting you. I happily quit my gimiks so I can put you soundly asleep at night, and quit my bag addiction so I can bring you to your ballet classes in cutiepatootie pink tutu's.
Finally, I am now done and over with completing my baby stuff for Patty. I hurriedly finished shopping now that wait time is cut short to three freaking weeks! The first right thing I ever did was shopping in first trimester for the basic needs such as crib, basic new born clothes. I purchased baby stuff month after month so I won't feel like I'm breaking the bank. Speaking of bank, I was computing my bank savings for my hospital bills, vaccines, and baptism expenses. I try to make ends meet without having to ask for support from other people my mom especially. It doesn't come easy after giving birth because of added dues such as diapers, and milk. I don't take is exactly as a problem, but a challenge. I know that at the end of the day God will provide without compromising the time that I can and will spend with Patty. :)
Despite the setbacks, and depiction of the end of my dalaga days, I couldn't be more happier with ME being a nanay in 3 weeks!!!!! =)
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