Of getting my life all over again

Okay, fine. I admit. I worked 16 hours a day, had two full-time jobs and yes working beyond I can handle. I was happily earning more than 1000USD per month back as a work-at-home mom. Despite that, I never seemed to have the energy to live my life. I was sluggish all day, always hungry for a nap, too lazy to move, life was just too sedentary. Causing my undeniable weight gain. I barely moved all throughout the day, and I was lucky to see the sunshine. If I don't drive Patty to school, I may not even know Mr. Sun anymore. I was all work, kids, work, kids, work, kids and barely any time for doing other things that I did NOT like, like exercise!

I was in the hospital with every single nerve in my body is telling my cervical spine my body is in excruciating pain; I was not sure if I was every going to be able to walk again. Not sure If I am going to be able to go back to my old life drive my kids to school, do the groceries, work etc. In that moment, I did not know what life had for me. The uncertainty of not knowing what was going to happen next was going to kill me.

Luckily, I was only diagnosed with Cervical Radiculopathy. I was cleared from stroke and only had a pinched nerve in my spine. How serious or not serious that was, I am not sure. I am yet to follow up with my Neuro for that.

I am back to my normal daily life of the undomesticated, work-at-home-mom of 3. Never have I ever appreciated waking up in the morning, driving to school, paying my bills, doing the groceries, etc. I don't have the crazy-rich lifestyle but hey. I enjoy the simple joys of our provincial life.

Now, I am happily working for just 1 client, 3 hours in the morning, and 3 hours at night at my own schedule. I am still earning well, not as much as I used to but fairly enough to pay the bills, and pay for things I don't need, buy books I only read halfway, and send my kids to the best school. I can now finally enjoy sleeping in early at 10 pm and have so much energy to do what I like to do in the morning.

In one of my boring stays in the hospital, I came up with a list of the things I want to do and change in my life. Some are just small but would make a drastic change in my life as a whole.

1) Commit to a life of charity. Even when I was still dalaga, I have always been active and participative in community projects. But when I left my org and got busy with my career, I lost time for it completely.

From this day forward, I will commit to a life with charity. Hoping this will open my kids' eyes and have them grow up doing the same.

If I can make my 3 girls grow up actively engaged in Social Activities, you have 3 girls making a difference in this world.

2) Pray the rosary every day.

3) Run. I hate running, but I can at least try to pretend to like it.

4) Write daily, blog every day. If you want to improve or do better at something, do it every day. Yes? YAS!

5) Read books. But please stop purchasing new ones if you have not finished one. Damn it, Diana.

6) Learn a new skill. (Sewing, SMM, FB Ads, whatever!)

7) Invest--But my horoscope told me this is not a good year for me to make big investments. So I guess, managing my money will do.

Wish me luck guys, wish me luck.

What once was there that never was.

Little did people know that before my 27th birthday I found out that I was pregnant with our 4th child. I was 2 weeks pregnant while I was on IUD. My IUD got dislodged and made the pregnancy possible. We were surprised, even my doctor was surprised. The best OB-Gyne doctor in Lipa with the most patients has 2 patients who got preggo with the IUD. I was the second.

I thought, God really wanted us to have this baby. Despite being on IUD, I still got pregnant! Of course, we welcomed the news with our heart whole. I broke the news to Patty, and she was so so happy. I will never forget how happy she was when I announced to her that she was getting a baby brother. Yes, my 3-year-old toddler understood everything. I can play that memory in my head over and over.

My OB asked me to return on June 5th to check the baby's heartbeat. Oh, hearing the first heart beat is always every mom's favorite first moment. I walked in the ultrasound room, opened my legs and the doctor found nothing. She found an empty sac. No baby. No heartbeat. Medically speaking they call it, Blighted Ovum. The fertilized egg did not develop to a fetus.

A fertilized egg it was. Not even a fetus. But that does not make my pain any less. Does not make it easier to accept. As a mother, he/she was my child. My unborn. My baby who will not be joining our family in singing "baby shark". The baby will not join the lovely chaos of our family. The crazy trips to the mall, all the fighting, running and laughing. All of it. Who knows, it could have the baby boy we've been praying for.

We are a ridiculously fun family, and someone did not make it to join us. In my heart, I feel like I am grieving like I really lost a child. Did not matter to me how big or how small. He/she was my child.

of turning 27.

As you all know I turned 27 yesterday. While this isn't exactly the life I imagined to have 10 years ago, I am glad it did not work the way I imagined it. I imagined myself working in a magazine, some fancy corporate job, and in a stable relationship with a corporate dude looking crisp in his dapper. But life led to a direction I did not see coming. 

Not only am I in a stable relationship, but I am in a marriage bursting with so much love, patience, and joy. Instead, I married to a low-key, hard working dude from high school. He may not be wearing dapper clothes, but I still get kilig when I see him wear his white coat. My husband makes "happily married" an understatement. And our kids? They are absolutely the icing, sprinkles, ganache of the cake. 

As for work, I am not a corporate slave, instead, I am a work at home momma where I work in my classic pambahay and ligo is negotiable. heehee!

This year, I decided to spend my day with my husband. No kids, no mommy, just me and Tatay. As you all know my husband is the classic macho filipino husband and is not romantic. But I found it sweet of him that he moved his duty so we can celebrate my birthday on the exact day anniversary of my birth. 

On my 27th birthday, I was looking forward to start my day that I woke up at 7am to play and spend my morning with the girls. I had to shorten my working hours so I can give them a nice shower, and spend the morning giving each of them lots of hugs and kisses. I know they'd be looking for me all day, so I thought i'd give them baon. 

First on our itinerary, we picked up our passport at Reli Travel and Tours at Dusit Thani Hotel. The travel agency who arranged our visa for Japan. 

SINGLE ENTRY GRANTED! WOOOHOOO! :)

After getting our passport, we headed to The Medical City to visit families who are currently admitted there. We had lunch, made kwento etc. I realized how lucky I am that I am married to my husband who is part of a big family, and that makes me a part of it too.They are a sister, brother, tita, tito, cousin to my husband as they are to me. You see, I don't have this. This big, extended, family thing. Big christmas parties, birthday parties with all your cousins gathered together and tita consistently making chika and all. I am glad that the Recio family welcomed me, and made me a part of theirs. God truly is amazing, he gave me cousins and tita's in the form of Jaggy's extended family. 

Lunching with Tatay's cousin at TMC. 

Tatay and I went to Megamall as we originally planned and had my hair colored at Bangs Prime Salon, the Sister company of Tony and Jackys Korean Salon. I always wanted to try their services but was always hesitant to spend so much for my hair. The last time I had my hair done was Danny's baptism. 

Waiting time! :)

And wow, no wonder why they call it prime. I always had my hair done at Davids Salon, Lipa and the service is so so. But I was very unhappy with my recent hair color with them that made me decide to finally make the switch. My kuripot husband is very supportive when it comes to my arte in life that he insisted to pay for it as birthday gift. 

THE DIFFERENCE IS UNDENIABLE. My husband hates it when I pay more rather than get it cheap. But I've experienced, that paying more for services means more too. The same is the case with this. In Davids, they apply it once and after 30 minutes you are done. The color was barely visible, and worse it was not even! As I recall, sana nag DIY na lang ako sa bahay. :/

DECEMBER 8 2016 Bad coloring from Davids. :/

In this Korean Salon, they applied the color 3x! It was done meticously, and carefully done by professionals. Even during haircut, they took their time and did not rush. I think the hair color and haircut lasted for not more than 3 hours. It may be more expensive than I usually pay for but it is definitely value for money. More importantly they did not harass me to avail this and that bla bla bakit dry ang hair mo day! Nope, I nicely declined and offered no more. 

Service is nice, even the Korean Satylist who was masungit at first was friendly. 

They were able to achieve the hair colored I liked, and ITS EVEN! 

Lastly, tatay and I had dinner in Sambokojin for unlimited Jap food. Luckily, that day, we did not break the bank.  Since it was my birthday, I got to eat for free! We ended up paying P888 for unlimited Jap food for two! The kuripots won again! :) 

I was happy I spent my day with my husband. I learned to appreciate how much he does for me, and giving our marriage priority. The time away from my kids gave me a better perspective of how life has been for me. It was a difficult process getting to where I am today. Battling undiagnosed anxiety, depression and being labelled as "masama ugali", "difficult" when it was a call for help. But when I had my kids, slowly it went kaput. Jaggy were with me from start to end and is still here with me today. If he had not sticked with me, we would not be this happy. Hopefully he does not read this, but this guy right here made all the difference. 

At 27, I have fewer friends. I can count with only one hand. But they are good as family to me. I know that they will not mock my weakness, laught at my flaws, and does what they can not to miss any milestone in my life. At 27, I have 3 kids and ridicously happy with my marriage. At 27, for the first time in my life I have savings. At 27, I realized it is more important to to give than to receive. At 27, there is absolutely nothing that I could possibly ask for. At 27, I may be fat and all, but I have every reason to be thankful.  

How I started as a work at home mom

It was July of last year when I read about working from home as an ESL teacher. I did not have a laptop, a headset, teaching experience only 10mbps internet speed with heaps of determination. Heaps and heaps of that.

I have a newly opened Pharmacy that was doing fairly well but had its own struggle.  I did not see the problem of not having someone I trust to man it and I had other obligations with the kids. We had no yaya, I had two kids and very pregnant. I was left at home taking care of 2 kids, cleaning the house, and manning the Pharmacy. But had to give up something or I will risk my pregnancy. It was almost impossible to make ends meet. Tatay has a job of course, but I had my share of expenses too. Little did I know that ir was only the beginning of everything. Clearly, it wasn’t working out. 

I only applied as an ESL teacher via mobile. When I received a call for my interview and tech test I had to borrow a laptop from my brother who was working online too. I immediately purchased a laptop with the hopes of landing the job despite the opposition of my mom and husband. They thought this was one of the many things I’d try and give up later. But I didn’t. I was going to use my SSS maternity money to buy a laptop. I was that broke. I was flat out broke. 

Begged my mom to lend me money to buy a laptop. She declined. But being the stubborn daughter that I am I asked her to hook me up with bumbays. Kapit na sa patalim levels man! I had one thousand pesos in my bank, and probably some coins in my wallet. I had to borrow money! I had to. She had no choice but to go to the mall with me and get the cheapest laptop that we can find and pay via installment.

D is back!

I realized I haven't blogged about anything the past YEARS. Life became handful after being pregnant year after year, after year. Yes, I am that fertile! I have not traveled too since we got married.  We were too busy hitting family milestones, having kids, another kid, getting married, moving out, moving back, getting another kid and so on and so for.  A LOT has happened over the years, and it was a bit overwhelming.

God granted me with a second life and there is no better time to start again. I am that annoying mom who posts everything on facebook. Every funny picture, every laugh out loud convo with my toddler. That's just my way of documenting our journey. My journey to family life. My marriage, my kids, my work. From having nothing to having everything. From being a nobody to being a fulfilled 20-something mommy.

January 2, 2017, I welcomed the year with an accident. Indeed I started the year with a BANG. I was heading home from a dinner date with friends. I crashed my car with 2 other vehicles, with Danny. She was just 2 months old during that time. People believed someone was watching over us and I knew it was my dad and dad-in-law. 

I  could have died. We could have died. I would have ended my life just when I began to love it. I would have left my husband, and 2 other kids. It could have been me in the hospital and lost all my clients. The job I worked so hard to get. The job i've been praying to have for months. 

Enough about the accident, looking back is just painful for me to remember. I still have nightmares just thinking about it. I still close my eyes whenever I pass by the area. I cringe just thinking of it.

As of the writing, I am typing this from my mom's so called granny sofa, feet up, with my heart full. I am preparing for work a few inches from Maggy.

Life has it's way of throwing us in a pack of wolves. But we always come back winning in life.  We are solely responsible for it and no one else. I can proudly say despite being that girl from highschool and college who had the least care with her academics, consistently missing classes, who went out late and worked early seeking for independence made it possible to still win life. I am happily married to an overworked humble man who despite his profession is ridiculously low-key. With 3 wonderful girls who are robust and happy. Happily occupied with 2 full time work at home jobs that pays me favorably well. 

That is not to say our life is perfect. We keep our lifestyle in check and make sure we live below our means--always (?). Tatay and I still fight every now and then, our kids are annoying half the time and have their share of fights too. We don't have it all together and we will have rough patches in the coming years. We are not ultra rich yet, and we don't have our house yet. Perhaps if you read long enough, you'll be with us while we hit those family milestones? :)

This is me, joining the blogging world. Welcome to the daily struggle of the undomesticated, medyo overweight, work at home promdi nanay from Batangas!

Till then, Kaberks! (Matanda na talaga ako. I am so irrelevant!)

Wedding preparations eeek!

We're still a year away from a wedding date. Well technically, we don't even have a date yet since we're still waiting for the schedule of board exams, his pre residency and residency schedule. So maaany things to consider I know! It gets a bit frustrating because I can't book a single supplier without the "date".  Not that we have a lot of suppliers to consider since we plan on having a simple civil ceremony with family, and closest friends limiting our guest list to 60 guests!

4 years ago, even if our relationship was just a month old, we already knew we wanted to get married someday. Not in a mushy, childish wishing to marry someone, we just knew. Before we turned a year old, Jaggy and I already had a business together so we can start saving and get married after his graduation. On our fourth month together, we drove to Tagayaty and visited Calaruega church, and boom! We had that "this is it!" feeling with the church, and I teased Jaggy,  "Love, dito ko na gusto." To my surprise he replied with ""Dito mo na talaga gusto?" on a serious tone.  And we are, that is why we're waiting a few more years to get married in Calaruega church. As you all know, you need to book and reserve 2 years before your wedding day to book on Calaruega as it is the most sought after church in Tagaytay! Sometimes, I hate how Jaggy and I are so sentimental so we end up waiting a few more years for this, but I appreciate the gesture of sticking with our early hopes and dreams, and finally seeing them happening right in our eyes :) 

We've been driving to Tagaytay for 4 consecutive weekends just to scout reception venues for our garden civil wedding. One that is Pinterest worthy! hehe And boy it's tiring especially with a slightly demanding mother, cutiepatootie baby at the height of her "kalikutan". Oh! let's not forget my incredibly kuripot fiance.

Jaggy and I has this habit of, him, giving me a budget, and me working around it, or beat my head trying to make it work. He has this this special skill of making things really hard for me. nye nye. hahaha 


Truth be told, I've had my fair share of "BRIDEZILLA" moments, and I lost count the number of times I told Jaggy to cancel everything. hahahaha  I dont mean it of course, but gaaahd i never really thought how wedding plans can be so frustrating! Enough to kill the excitement even! Bbu-bu-but I'm glad I am over it (weh??) hahaha. Lucky lucky my fiance is verrryy patient with me, and it only makes me want to marry him even him. :D 

Allow me however to share a couple of pegs I got from Pinterest, and im hoping to make things alive or at least close to it on our big day. 

Eeeehhk!

Patty turned 1!

Wow, so it has been a year since I gave birth to my little munchkin? This beautiful little world wonder is finally a year old, and we could not be any happier with the beautiful little girl she's growing up to be. Tantrums? What tantrums? I have not seen Patty throw a tantrum, or remember a single occasion where we had a struggle to make her eat. Let me quote what my mom says everyday, "Pinaka behave na bata sa buong mundo si Patty!". Sure she's uncomfortable with strangers, but at home she can last a day without crying. And that's just a normal "Patty" thing. Who wouldn't love this little creature?:)

On Oct. 12, 2014 the exact day of her 1st birthday, we celebrated this very special day with our loving family, and closest friends at Jollibee, Lipa Batangas. Just a small party of 80 closest family and friends celebrating our outmost joy for having Patty. My fiance continues to amaze me because he drove all the way from Manila straight from his 24 hour duty to Lipa and did his best to stay awake the whole day to maximize the little time he has with us. True enough, the best gift we can ever receive is the gift of time.   

Surprisingly, it was Jaggy who wanted to throw a party for Patty! I was so proud of Jaggy finally coming out of his kuripot self. hahaha Although, quite frankly speaking we didn't end up spending much on this party too. hehe 

EXPENSES:
Jollibee Package: 10k-ish?
Photographer: P1500
Loot bags: P700
Adorable tutu dress: C/O Lola Norrine :)

As you all know, Jaggy is the master crammer, and he plans everything and I say everything the last minute sometimes a few hours after the last minute. He started planning Patty's party in May of 2014!!! :))  So many changes with him since he became a father, and I couldn't be more proud. :) 

The party was well executed, and was downright entertaining! Thanks to Jollibee for pulling off an amazing party that suited our budget! :) I was a bit problematic at first since Jaggy provided a very minimal budget, but thank God for my cheapskate skills, I get a decent party, and Jaggy is just happy it didn't break the bank. Hmp! :)

It was just surreal to see two families join to celebrate and share the same happiness Jaggy and I have. Jaggy even had friends from Manila to share this momentous moment in our lives. I know Patty will not remember a moment in this party, but I don't think Jaggy, and I will forget that day. 4 years together, and we still enjoy many firsts in our lives. So excited to gather these people again on our big day, our wedding day! :)